Funny Jokes, Pictures, Videos...

Q: Did you hear about the new automatic parachutes, invented by a blond?

A: They open on impact.

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

Your job is interfering with your drinking.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream.

Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

You sincere  read more »

..Placemats.They only show up when there's food on the table.

..Mascara.They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

..Bike helmets.They're good in emergencies but usually just look silly.

..Government bonds.They take so long to mature.

..Copiers.You need them in reproduction but that's about it.

..Lava lamps.Fun to look at it but not all that bright.  read more »

A guy in a bar stands up and says, "All lawyers are assholes."

Another guy stands up and says "Hey...I resent that..."

The first guy says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"

The second guy says, "No. I'm an asshole."

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.

Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.

The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.