Random jokes

Wanted

a tall well built woman with a good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classical music and tal-
king without getting to serious.
but please only read lines 1 ,3 and 5{#emotions_dlg.rolf}

Read books!

Husband reading book loud:

- Husband: Move hands slowly form chest to shoulders, then slide from spine to hips...
- Wife: Honey is it Kamasutra?
- Husband: No, it is guide for Customs officer...

Social Security

A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home.  read more »

Try to decipher ...

if you cannot decifer anything then try pulling the corner of your eyes as if you were Chinese...

Church Bells

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having  read more »

Dirty Birds

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes.  read more »

Prevention is important...

There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
The Female pencil got pregnant !!
Which Male pencil is responsible?
THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER {#emotions_dlg.rolf}

Blondes taking bus

Two blondes waiting at the bus stop:
- Which bus are you waiting?
- Number 2
- I am for number 8
- Hey, look 28 is arriving Surprised
- Oh, good, lets take a ride together then! Smile

Little worm...

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.
Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."
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