Redneck registering his new born son:
Name: John
Surname: Woodcock
Nationality: Chinese...
Nurse asking him: "Why did you put Chinese?" 
Redneck: This is my 3rd son and I read in newspaper - every third born child in the world is Chinese... 
Redneck went in to library and ask:
- Do you have any books about smart Redneck? 
- Oh you need to go straight and turn to your left - there you going to see Science fiction books... 
Redneck came back home...
Redneck: I want to eat...
Wife: Ok... (done)
Redneck: I want to drink...
Wife: Here, drink... (done)
Redneck: Want to have sex...
Wife: Ok ............. (done)
Redneck: And now I want to get down from horse and take off my boots...