Q. What's an Australian kiss?
A. The same thing as a French kiss, only down under!
Two statues are standing in a park, they have been there for years naked staring at eachother. One day God comes down and brings them to life.
"You both may live for 1 hour to do whatever it is you plaese."
The male statue looks at the female one and asks, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?".
"I sure am.", she replies with a smile.
With that they run off into the trees nearby. 30 minutes pass and they both emerge from the wood sweaty, panting, and laughing.
The male statues looks up and asks, "Want to do it again?".
She looks at him smiles and says, "Sure do, but this time you hold the pidgeons down and I'll shit on 'em!"
A lady walks into food court and orders a burger. The huge woman behind the counter bellows, "One burger!" Ed the cook, who's even bigger and more disgusting, screams, "Bur-ger!", whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill. The lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen."
The waitress replies, "Oh yeah? That's nothing. You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts.