Blonde walks into an ice cream parlor on a hot day.
"I'd like a gallon of chocolate ice cream", she says.
"I'm sorry ma'am, but we've had a run on chocolate in this weather
and we just ran out. We've got 30 other flavours, so please pick one of
them." replied the clerk.
"Oh well, I guess I'll just have a quart of chocolate then."
"Ma'am, perhaps you didn't hear me. We are completely out of
chocolate ice cream, but I'll be happy to sell you another flavour."
"Oh. Better make it just a pint of chocolate then."
The clerk has had enough at this point and asks, "Listen, lady, spell the 'VAN' in 'vanilla'."
The lady is puzzled, but replies "V-A-N".
"OK, now spell the 'STRAW' in 'strawberry'. he says.
She slowly replies, "S-T-R-A-W", still not sure what he's up to.
"OK, now spell the "FUCK" in 'chocolate'."
She looks at him and says, "There's no 'fuck' in chocolate!'
He shouts back, "That's what I'm tryin to tell you, lady!"
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "what is 1 and 1?"
"Eleven," she replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but she's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlor, where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. The blonde was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
What do you call an intelligent blonde? A Golden Retriever