Rabbi met Pop:
Rabbi - Shalom, how are you?
Pop - Good, how are you?
Rabbi - Oh... just now I had meal in restaurant, woow... It almost killed me when I saw the bill... 
Pop - Oh... never mind, I'll teach you how to have good meal and never pay the bill!... 
Rabbi - Sure, show me... :?
They went into restaurant and had good meal - ordered almost
everything, after that they stay there until restaurant was about to
close and all staff left except one Waiter...
Waiter approached them and ask - Gentlemen, we are closing soon, would you mind to pay bill first? 
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When you have a "I Hate My Job" day 
, try this:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. 
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. 
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble.